i can breathe just fine without you here
by acousticpancake
Summary: After months of waiting, she can finally do just fine without him. Slightly OOC. Raura.


**note:** so this is something i've been arguing over writing for a few days, writing a little bit whenever i got cough INSPIR5D cough and honestly it sucks so much and you shouldn't read it, in fact just try to avoid it it's literally almost as bad as ross's ponytail but i'm actually impressed that i somewhat finished this even though i don't really feel it.

**warning:** lots and lots of swearing, drinking, (not much smut, i'm so sorry i don't know how to write and this isn't much of a smutty/fluffy story.) also, this is kinda (just a bit) ooc.

i do not own any of the people mentioned or any places/movies whatever.

* * *

_"why should i care when you absolutely never did, don't you know that love, it works both ways." -njomza_

* * *

Their show was over after three seasons filled with romance, mischiefs, and undoubtable enjoyment for the cast and crew. Little did she expect that her relationship with her close co-star would soon follow suit.

He was leaving to Puerto Rico in a few days where he'd film the sequel to his really cliché (in her opinion, although she secretly knew that most of her cast mates shared the same thought) beach movie.

He'd be stuck in an island with girls who he was rumored on having affairs with.

The joy.

She wasn't very fond of the group of people whom he was sharing 2 whole months with alone. And of course, she felt a sort of jealousy towards them since they'd be getting to see her undoubtably very attractive, bleached hair partner in just swim trunks.

"Hey beautiful, whatcha thinking about?" His voice interrupted her thoughts.

She blushed, feeling like she had just gotten caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar. "Nothing... I'm just going to miss all of this a lot."

He chuckled, "Hey, don't worry, we'll probably all end up doing another movie together or something, who knows how this little messed up world works." He shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess. But whatever, the topic is starting to depress me. Wanna go out for some pizza?" She asked, hoping that he'd agree to go.

"Pizza sounds amazing right now, but I have to start packing for Puerto Rico." He rolled his eyes before continuing, "Rain check?"

"Because packing your pink, and should I mention that it's your only, swim trunk is totally going to take the whole afternoon."

He smirked, "For your information, I think my mom went out and bought a new one. Is someone sad that her favorite person in the whole world isn't going to be paying attention to her for a few hours?" He asked teasingly.

"I don't blame George Clooney for not paying attention to me, he's getting engaged after all. Home wrecker." She scoffed, jokingly.

"You're so strange..." He shook his head at her.

"Yeah, now go pack your stuff. You don't want to go to Puerto Rico looking like a homeless guy, even though Brady's outfits are almost as bad." She scrunched up her nose.

"I'll call you after I'm done, promise. I'd invite you over but I'd end up _doing_ another thing besides packing." He grinned.

"We wouldn't want that happening around your family." She giggled.

"Eh, I wouldn't mind." He winked at her, wiggling his eyebrows.

"You're so gross." She laughed.

"You're just as bad as me!" He defended.

She leaned towards his ear, nibbling on it lightly earning a soft groan from him. "If you're lucky, we'll continue this after those 2 months of torture are over."

He growled, "You're such a fucking tease."

"I need you to have something to look forward to while you're in Puerto Rico." She smiled, sticking his tongue out at him.

He quickly stuck his own, colliding their lips which turned out into a very sensual and heated make out session.

They weren't exactly "dating" or anything, they decided not to label whatever they were since Ross was touring majority of the time and Laura had other projects to worry about. Neither of them were ready for a relationship, it's not because they didn't want to, they really did, but it was too much waiting for one another, therefore leaving them at friends who kissed a little every once in a while (most of the time) and deeply care for one another.

"It's so hard saying bye to you." He irritatedly groaned while pulling away.

"You're so fucking whipped," she giggled and pecked his cheek, "now get the fuck out."

"I hope you're just as demanding in bed." He once again winked at her, rapidly leaving before earning a punch in the arm from the small brunette.

She sighed to herself, she knew these following months were going to be hell for their relationship, or whatever they were. And she didn't know how exactly things would end up, but she convinced herself that it was going to be worth it in the end. He had been gone for a longer amount of time. But, something in her warned her that this time would be different. She shook the thoughts away and left her dressing room for the last time.

* * *

He called the morning before his flight took off, apologizing for not calling the other night and never actually owning up to his rain check for pizza.

"I'm so sorry, I just had a lot of things to packed and everyone at home were stressing the fuck out and it just stressed me out more. I promise I'll make it up to you when I get back." He pleaded.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Ross..." She hesitated, "Why didn't you come over instead of saying goodbye on the phone?"

"Everything's so hectic, Laura, I barely have time to just sit down and play guitar. I'm sorry, I really am." He pleaded.

She sighed, "Yeah, me too. Have fun in Puerto Rico, Ross."

There was a short pause.

"I'll miss you."

"Me too." She heard Stormie and what she assumed was the rest of the crew calling Ross's name. "Well I'll talk to you some other time, have a nice flight and stay safe."

She hung up. She couldn't blame him for having such a tight schedule, she wished that he'd stay stable for at least a month, no touring or shows or movies. Just him hanging out with his stupid acoustic guitar, and maybe she'd join in the fun.

However, she had other things to do while he was gone. She had just found out that she was casted for a movie that she had auditioned a few months back. It wasn't a Disney movie and she felt a kind of relief. She was honestly done with Disney. It wasn't that they had treated her bad or anything, she had a great experience with everyone there, but she was ready to start on more serious projects. She had also graduated just a little bit more than a month ago and she had been accepted to NYU, however, she had delayed her classes and she wasn't going to start until late fall. She was glad that she had a busy schedule, maybe that'd keep her from missing her blond, used to be co-star, so much.

* * *

A few days passed, those days turning into weeks, weeks turning into months, and she hadn't heard anything from him. Well, anything _from_ him. It was hard to avoid all of the rumors going around and the paparazzi that seemed to be following his every move.

She tried to convince herself that he had a tight schedule and couldn't find the time to call her.

He had been seen at a bar, with his co-stars, drinking what seemed to be way too much considering that he had to be taken out by more than two bodyguards. TMZ had uploaded a video of him cursing at the paps, slurring his words.

He was at a club every single day and she had no idea how the hell even got to film for his movie when all he did was go out and get drunk.

She was stuck in her room, it's been that way for a while now.

She had finished filming her scenes for her own project a few weeks ago and she was finally back home.

She tried to look for things to do, photo shoots, interviews, basically _anything_ just so she could get out and keep her mind away from Ross. Unfortunately, it never worked. Everywhere she went people asked her about Ross and if she was just as disappointed as them, and honestly, she wasn't.

She was still waiting on him, even though it had been more than 2 months and the movie should've been over by now, he was still in Puerto Rico. His family was back in Los Angeles, she had visited them as soon as she landed back in California.

They weren't worried about Ross, it seemed like it was the normal thing for him to do these kinds of things around them. She wasn't very accustomed to it, it seemed like he was a different person around her than around his family. But she just shrugged it off, agreeing with them.

She remembered asking them when the movie would be over and Rocky hesitantly answering that the movie had been called off because of all the partying and stunts Ross had made. He never showed up on time and was hungover most of the time.

All of that information should've hurt her, it should've. But it didn't.

She still believed that he'd come back and they'd fix all of this out and she'd make him feel better because he has so much potential and she really hopes that he doesn't end up like Justin Bieber or any of those wasted stars, because Ross is different. He's so special to her and she loves him so much and she has faith in him. All of this was probably an act and she blames the people who surrounded him, she knew the type of people they were.

So she locked herself at home, watching movies and checking news about Ross every once and then on her computer.

That was until the rumors increased to the point where he was everywhere and the pictures made it evident that they weren't rumors anymore.

And she felt like shit because he seemed to be having the time of his life and she was stuck at home waiting for him and crying over him and he didn't give a shit about it.

It was like he didn't even knew that he had left someone who had deeply cared for him back at home.

Like nothing else mattered to him, except the parties and the girls that he was undoubtedly hooking up with.

All of it disgusted her.

She cried some more, letting everything out for the last time.

She wasn't going to cry over him anymore.

If he doesn't give a shit, why should she?

She also had a career, and she was getting a lot of recognition thanks to her latest projects.

She promised to herself that he wouldn't get to her anymore, no one would get to her.

So she packed her bags, and decided to start her first year at NYU earlier than was planned.

* * *

There had been a 'Welcome' party at one of her classmate's dorm and after arguing whether to go or not, she decided that she needed it.

It was full of people who she didn't recognize but they all seemed to recognize her. They tried to make conversation with her and congratulated her on her successes and even though all of them were very nice and she felt extremely welcome, she told them all that she came her to be a student just like the rest of them and that she'd really appreciate it to be treated like one, and they all obliged.

The speakers were blasting to what sounded like dub-step (she wasn't much of a fan but the liquor on her hand would beg to differ). She nodded her head and shook her hips to the music. Bodies on top of bodies and she actually felt relieved, it was something she hadn't felt in what seemed to be a very long time.

She walked around and danced some more, making friends with most of the people who were there, drinking some more, laughing, smiling, just having _fun_.

After what seemed like hours of dancing or what she had considered dancing, she walked towards a couch that was vacant at the time. She started drinking her fourth cup (she had no idea what she was drinking but it was _definetly_ not soda). Her phone started vibrating and she struggled to get it out from her tight shorts with one hand.

When she was successful, she looked at the unknown caller ID that had been flashing on the screen, wondering who in the world it would be.

After a few more seconds of vibrating, she ended up answering, "Uh, hello? Who's this?" The words came out a bit slurred.

"Ah, so you deleted my number from your phone already, that's nice. Hey to you too, Laura. Remember me? Last time we saw each other I could've sworn you knew my name."

It was _him_. His voice almost sounding foreign to his ears.

Why the fuck would he call her? Why now when she was finally getting over him?

Just the thought of it angered her.

"Sure. Why are you calling?" She asked, honestly not really caring.

"Because I miss you." She heard his hesitation.

"Cut the bullshit, Ross." She really hoped to forget his name.

"Where the fuck are you?" He growled, evidently hearing the background commotion that was going on.

"That's none of your business. Look it was nice catching up with you or whatever the fuck you call this." She was about to hang up, almost.

"Why the fuck are you doing this? You're a nice girl, Laura!"

"How does this make me bad? Having fun is bad now, Ross? Because if it _is_, you're much worse than me from what I last remember." She laughed sourly.

She couldn't believe _he__, _of all people, was actually trying to lecture her. She wasn't doing anything bad, she was having _fun_. She had her priorities straightened out and didn't mix business with pleasure. She drank just enough to stay a bit sober, even though it wouldn't matter since her dorm was only a few feet away.

"That's different, don't bring my shit up." His voice went louder.

"It's not fucking different, Ross, you sound like such a fucking prick oh my god, please leave me the fuck _alone_, you've done such an amazing job at doing that for the past months. I can handle myself just great, I am fucking adult for crying out loud. Now if you called to ruin my night, congrats, Ross, you accomplished it. No amount of drinks is gonna boost up my mood." She groaned, her head throbbing, not from the drinks but from all the anger raging inside of her.

"I fucking care about you, stop pushing me away god damn it, Laura!" He strained.

"You've done a shit job of caring about me, lately so do me a favor and find someone else to care about because I'm doing fine, Ross, honestly. Whatever went on with us a few months ago, get the fuck over it. It's better this way."

"If it's better this way then why do I feel like a piece of shit."

"Probably because you are one. Just go drink it up or something, write a song with your siblings. Just stop."

"Do you honestly not miss me?" He asked, his voice sounding more calm.

"Honestly? If you asked me this a while back it would've been a definite yes. But you know what? I'm doing so much better without you."

"You... you don't mean that..."

"I waited for you for so long, I couldn't live with myself. I didn't eat, I didn't talk to anyone, I was a human robot. And what sucks the most is that I loved you so much. I thought that I loved you enough for the both of us but it just made me feel even more like shit every single fucking day, Ross." She said, quickly wiping off a tear rolling down her face.

"I love you more than you can ever fathom." His voice cracked.

"Yeah, I thought that too, at first. But things change. The circumstances change. And as much as I want to tell you that I feel the same way, I don't. I love myself, and that's all that I really need right now." She said, silently smiling to herself.

It was silent for a few minutes besides the noise coming from her side of the phone.

"I hope you're happy."

"Thanks, I am."

She didn't remember who exactly hung up the call, but she went back to the living room where her colleagues were setting up a beer pong table.

"You wanna play some beer pong?" A random, yet very attractive, guy whom she swore she had never seen around campus before, asked.

"Hell fucking yeah, I do." She yelled, smiling.

She finally, finally felt free. She was living her life day by day, not caring about the obstacles along the way, she knew she could phase them all. There were finally no distractions, just her and her dreams.

It all fucking _finally_ felt right.

* * *

oh my god this was really lame and i honestly didn't know how to shape up the story or anything and just the whole idea is really dumb and you probably just wasted your time reading this and i'm so sorry. i really hope you guys (kinda, maybe just a little bit) liked it.


End file.
